Suppression of Desire & Leaky Sexual Energy
@larissahofmann
Leaky sexual energy arises when we do not acknowledge our sexual desires. We may not acknowledge our desires due to guilt or embarrassment around them & this is completely normal. Guilt or embarrassment may arise from learnt societal attitudes we hold around different acts of sex. For example, one may be feel embarrassed to begin a self pleasure practice due to learnt views that it is ‘dirty’ or ‘wrong’. The result may be that we give off a large amount of leaky sexual energy to strangers & they may find this uncomfortable to be around. An example would be, a creepy person at the bar that may be staring & you feel uncomfortable being around.
Alternatively, we may suppress our desires due to fear that we will be rejected by our sexual partners. Sometimes we are too scared to share our desires with our sexual partners due to fear that we will be judged for expressing them. Trust me it is worth sharing. If your sexual partners judge you for authentically sharing then they may not be the person that you want to share your sexual energy with anyway. However, please note that just because we share our sexual desires does not mean that our sexual partner/s have to engage in them with us. If they politely decline then you must respect them back.
Individuals may also suppress sexual desires due to relationship commitments. It is completely normal to be in a monogamous relationship & feel a sexual attraction to other people because we are sexual beings. Having feelings of sexual attraction to another person does not mean that you do not love your partner or that you have to connect sexually with another person. Sometimes all the sexual attraction to another needs is acknowledgement & non-judgement. It is when we suppress & shame this feeling that sometimes it can become leaky & result in unwanted behaviour like self sabotage. If even when acknowledging the feeling you still feel incomplete without following through with the desire, you may have to seek extra support around why you may be feeling this way.
To combat leaky sexual energy we must acknowledge our desires. You may like to journal or share with a close friend/partners/therapist to acknowledge your desires. Alternatively, you may like to act them out in a self-pleasure session.